Barney: "I could tell you knew something was up with me, and you're right. But I can't tell you what it is. I should tell you, but I can't! I have to. I never will! I'm going to. Let's just drop it. What's up with you?"
Lilly: "Barney just say it."
Barney: "I think I'm in love with Robin."
Lilly: "I don't believe it! I thought you called me over here to uncuff you from your sex swing again, but you're in love? That's so sweet!"
Barney: "It's not "sweet". It's like a disease. I slept with Robin one time and I caught feelings. I caught feelings bad. I used protection and everything."
Lilly: "Oh Barney, you don't "catch" feelings. You just have them! And they're good!"
Barney: "They're terrible! I can't eat, I can't sleep. She's all I think about. I close my eyes, I see Robin. I, I hear a song, it reminds me of Robin. I sleep with that chick, I'm thinking about Robin."
Lilly: "Barney, how can you be in love, and still be sleeping with anything that moves?"
Barney: "I'm sorry, I don't follow you. That's like saying, "How can an ant carry 20 times its body weight, but root beer floats are still delicious?" Are the two even related?"
Lilly: "Barney, you're going to have to stop screwing around if you want to be Robin's boyfriend."
Barney: "Whoa, whoa, whoa. "Boyfriend"? I don't want to be Robin's boyfriend."
Lilly: "Well, what do you want, then?"
Barney: "I don't know. I just want to be with her. All the time. I want to hear about her day and tell her about mine. I want to hold her hand and smell her hair. But I don't want to be her stupid boyfriend."
Lilly: "Barney, what you just described is a relationship between a boyfriend and a girlfriend. And a pretty clingy one at that."
Barney: "Look, Lilly, are you going to help me out with this or not?"
"That rock and roll, eh? That rock and roll, it just won’t go away. It might hibernate from time to time, sink back into the swamp. I think the cyclical nature of the universe in which it exists demands that acquiesce to some of its rules. But it’s always waiting there, just around the corner, ready to make its way back through the sludge and smash through the glass ceiling, looking better than ever. Yeah, that rock and roll, it seems like it’s faded away sometimes, but it will never die. And there’s nothing you can do about it…"